#2 "My Abusive Ex Won an Oscar" - Interview with Lauren Carter | Abuse Allies Podcast

Updated: Aug 8, 2019

Lauren Carter found herself in two abusive relationships while pursuing her singing career in London and Los Angeles. Today she's sharing her story to answer My Abuse Program's clients' question: Can someone who is highly abusive or narcissistic be very successful in their careers?

Lauren Carter, an American actress, model, and award-winning singer, found herself in two toxic relationships while pursuing her career. She had a tumultuous relationship with her ex-boyfriend while he was directing, producing and starring in his film, which later went on to win an Oscar.

Despite having to face these challenges, Lauren Carter peaked at #6 in the Swiss dance charts in 2017, and she released her debut EP, American Dream with Turn Up the Pop! Records in April, 2017. Lauren's career has taken her all over the globe, and she has worked with an impressive roster of artists including Robert Altman, DJ Fresh, Goldie, Ellen von Unwerth, and more. Lauren's modeling work has been published in editions of Maxim, GQ, Esquire, Sports Illustrated, and more.

Today Lauren is free from this toxicity, and she's stronger and happier than ever. She's here to share her story of hope, and to encourage those struggling in abusive relationships by letting them know that they are not alone. There is truly light at the end of the tunnel.

You can find Lauren, here:

Lauren's Instagram Lauren's Facebook

Lauren's Website

You can find us, The Bulletproof Club, here: Website

Facebook Page Facebook Support Group



You can find Danielle Esplin, here: Website



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In this episode, we discuss the following:

[00:00] Intro: My Abuse Program and Lauren Carter Introduction [01:57] How the Relationship Started [04:50] Danielle asking if Lauren had enough time with him to get a sense of his character [05:05] Danielle explaining that people with high Narcissism target attractive partners [05:21] How the sexual abuse and gaslighting started [06:06] How Lauren felt about the relationships and her exes disrespecting her boundaries [04:50] Danielle asking Lauren about what was about her exes that attracted her [08:22] Danielle and Lauren explaining the importance of childhood (how we were raised) in future adult relationships [09:32] Lauren talking about “Love Bombing” [10:13] The Phase after Love Bombing — Devaluation [11:55] Danielle further discusses Idealization and Devaluation [13:03] Lauren sharing how it can be an addictive cycle [13:24] Danielle asking Lauren about the pattern of “Affectation” [14:29] Mirroring vs. Imitating [15:00] Defining the Deflectable Meter and the pattern of abuse in Lauren’s past relationships [21:07] How Lauren realized she was in an abusive relationship [23:13] Lauren getting cheated on [25:14] Danielle talking about forgiveness [25:50] Lauren sharing about how she blamed herself [26:19] Lauren continues talking about getting cheated on [29:49] Danielle talking about how personality precedes behavior and clarifying that not everyone in a powerful position is a Narcissist [30:57] Strangulation and its pattern in abusive relationships [31:39] How Lauren made the mental shift to move on [33:21] Danielle thanking Lauren for being on the Podcast

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